Almost a year ago, my wife and I filed for Bankruptcy. It was the worst time of my life. I felt like a total failure. I never thought in my life that I would be someone who field for bankruptcy. I was in the IT (Information Technology) field and between my wife and I, we were making over $95,000 a year. Some people are reading this right now and screaming at me, "How could you file for bankruptcy you idiot! That's a LOT of money!"
What most people fail to see, is that the more you make, the more you spend. The more you spend, the bigger of a hole you dig yourself. I want you to take a hard look around. Maybe even at yourself. Do you have a credit card? You probably do, just like almost every single person in this country. After all, this is
For my wife and me, our problems started about 5 years ago. The housing market was just starting to get hot and we found a nice house that was in foreclosure. We got a heck of a deal on a 2100 square foot home with 4 bedrooms and 2 ½ bathrooms. All of that for $150,000. Yeah heck of a deal! Plus with the housing market, it was almost a guarantee that in another year we could double that value.
The problem with the house was that the people who owned it before us, well they were a bit angry when they left. There were holes in the walls, all the appliances were gone, the carpet ruined, the list goes on and on. So basically the home was a real fixer upper. No problem we told each other, we got credit cards and a nice $25,000 credit limit.
We set off on the spending spree of a lifetime. We had fun picking out new carpet, I bought new tools so I could tile the floors, and we got nice new appliances. We hired out a guy to patch up the holes in the walls and got the house in top shape. Whew. After that first year, we were pretty happy, but the house wasn’t where we wanted it to be.
We had maxed out our credit cards and there was still work to be done! We still wanted that solar heater for the pool, wanted a nice wooden fence for the backyard, heck, we didn’t even have that irrigation system yet. So we did what most people do, we were offered the chance to “refinance” the house.
Oh what a great deal, we told ourselves! We can pay off the credit cards, and then just get a couple more things for the house and pay them as we go. Then we will be set! So we refinanced our 5.4% 30 year fixed mortgage and traded it for an adjustable 6% mortgage that was fixed for 1 year. Those that are handy with finances are probably scratching their heads right about now. In our minds it was a better deal, because we had about $32,000 in credit card debt and had nice 10-19% credit cards. An extra percent on the house was nothing compared to those 10 and 19% rates!
So our house payment went up a couple hundred bucks. No big deal we thought. We were paying like $600-$800 a month anyway in credit card bills and now they are gone! We were happy. We were out of debt and now could get back to work on getting STUFF for the house! YIPPEE!!
About that time, my wife told me she wanted to quit her job. She was so tired of it, and she had found a new opportunity. I told her to go for it. The new job was making a LOT more money. It was a new place coming to town and she was really excited. A couple months into the job, she hated it. Her boss was a real nightmare to work for. She would come home crying and really upset.
I told her she could quit that job if she found something else. So she went back to her former boss and begged for her job back. The problem was, they were not looking for anyone in her former position. They had an hourly job working below her old position but it was half of what she was making. She called me upset, I told her to take it because I supported her and we would figure out the finances.
We went back to our old habits and got that fenced in back yard. We got that irrigation system and had a nice Christmas. We were then working on paying it back. Then life threw us a huge ticking time bomb. It was the middle of summer, all of a sudden that adjustable mortgage, well, it expired… the house payment went up almost $900!!! Shortly after that, our A/C unit decided it was time to say goodbye. When you live in
We were now in over our heads. The bills were piling up. My depression was raging because I couldn’t take care of the family! Debt collectors were calling us at all hours, calling me at work, calling my cell phone and harassing me. Heck even one of the bill collectors told me flat out, “I doubt that the credit agencies can even help you!” which to me felt like a HUGE slap in the face. I heard “you are a worthless piece of crap” from that. Life sucked.
So we went to file for Bankruptcy a couple months later. It was now Christmas of 2006, Merry Christmas, your now bankrupt. We did the best we could that Christmas. My wife had got a bonus from work, and we used that to pay for the kids presents. I had to tell my parents that we couldn’t afford to get them anything and then they wanted to know why. It was awful… my wife told her family… she felt about an inch high. She was humiliated.
So now it was 2007 and we were still in the waiting period for our bankruptcy to be filed. Let me tell you, that those months of waiting between the time it is filed and the time it is final are nothing short of hell. You have to go to a special meeting which is like court and explain to them how you got in your situation. Then they decide if you can file chapter 7 or not.
Anyway, during this time I really started evaluating my own life. I looked at my job and thought of how unhappy I was. So I began looking for something else I could do. I wanted something where I could set my own hours and be my own boss. I wanted my own company. I started looking at the things I love. I have a degree in business management so I went through a whole brainstorming event and listed the things I like to do. At first I thought maybe I wanted to go into hosting online, but then looked at how saturated that business is. No, that wasn’t viable.
Then I started finding these “work at home jobs”. I must admit I was interested. All these offers of “make $5000 a month!” sounded good. However, deep down I knew most of them were nothing more than sensational. However, I also knew that there had to be some legit programs out there.
A few months went by and I continued to search for something real. In April, the bankruptcy was final. It was over. We breathed a sigh of relief. However, we had kept the house in the hopes we could sell it, but left ourselves an “out” by including it in the bankruptcy. As long as we continued to pay the house, it was fine, but if we were to stop making payments, the bank would take it back.
A month later we decided that there was no way to keep paying on the house. It was costing us way too much. It had already forced us to spend out of control. The housing market wasn’t doing anything. We had listed our house back in January and not even got a bite. It was time to cut our losses and move. The worst part of all of this was telling our 3 kids that they had to move away from their friends after being in their house for the past 5 years, and let me tell you, that was just a horrible feeling.
My wife and I then agreed to take out a loan so we could move and rent a house. We found a nice place, and it was actually a little larger than the one we were living in. So we packed up our stuff and moved out. The deal with the loan was it was actually a smart move on our part. We wanted to pad the savings account, have all the bills paid a month in advance and be able to move without worries.
As far as my work went, I still hated my job. I was coming to the conclusion that I was tired of working for a company where I was putting money in their pocket. I wanted out so bad that I could taste it. The programs I found online were more and more tempting and the ones I kept coming back to were making more and more sense.
Something consumed me inside. It was like a fire burning, a desire to go out and make it on my own. I wanted it so bad, that I could taste it. I found a couple of programs and thought to myself, it’s now or never. I did not ask my wife, I just went for it.
I started buying a few eBooks here, a program there, testing out the market, and learning every single day. I felt alive; I knew then, at that moment, that this is what it must have felt like back during the gold rush. The thoughts of “getting rich” consumed me. I had drive and ambition unlike anything I ever felt before. For the first time in a long time, I was alive again!
A month later, my fantasy came crashing down around me. My wife had discovered I had spent over $1000 of our money and now I was in big trouble. I had betrayed her by taking the money. I had let her down again. I had crushed her faith in me to be her provider and there was hell to pay for it.
I tried to explain to my wife how much I wanted to do this. How much I felt alive again, but she would not hear it. I had betrayed her. I had taken the kids school clothes money and their supply money. I tried telling her I would make that money back, but she didn’t want to listen anymore.
I was consumed and infuriated that I had let this happen. However, it just fueled me more than ever to make that money back. One of the programs was on a monthly charge. I figured, I’d just keep that a secret, that I just knew if given a month I could make at least the $20 for it back and just keep doing it.
The thing I failed to realize was that I was just chasing money. Those who chase money will continue to chase money. A month went by and I had simply not even thought it was close to it being time to be charged. The next thing I knew, my wife was screaming at me again. I knew what she was angry about.
Now I was at the lowest of my lows. I had promised her I wouldn’t spend another cent. But I had let this slide, thinking I could do this. Not understanding the things I needed to do. Now my marriage was on the line; as she was ready to walk out on me forever.
My moment had arrived. It was time to choose to either let my get rich dreams die, or focus on my marriage. I will not sit here and justify my feelings. Some would say it would be an easy choice. My mind wasn’t in the right place though, this fire was no longer a fire inside of me to be successful, and it was a full blown inferno consuming me.
That’s when a friend of mine asked me how I was doing. We sat down and talked for a few hours and that’s when I came to a new realization. As I talked to my friend, I realized just how “delusional” I sounded. “My God…I sound like an alcoholic!” I thought to myself. That’s when I realized, I am doing this all wrong.
I went back to my wife and told her that I wanted to focus on our relationship and that she was the most important part of my life. Being able to be a good father to my children and being a good husband were what I wanted to be more than anything. She wanted to move back to
You see, life isn’t just about getting rich quick. The only real way to make money is to believe in you. You have to take care of those around you. You have to focus on helping other PEOPLE. That’s what I lost focus of. That is my secret to success. Stop chasing down money and start focusing on people, especially those closest to you in your life. Isn’t that one of the main reasons you want to work from home, so that you can have more time with your loved ones?
Once you see what I have learned, you will be able to go on and do great things. I know this because that is what I am doing now. I no longer worry about making money, because I promised my wife I would not spend another dime of our money. It’s a promise I intend to keep to her. I just hope that one day she can respect me for what I’m doing because after all of this, I still have a lot of respect for this industry. My goal is to make sure others do not get hurt or taken advantage of.
You don’t have to try and deceive other people. Just be yourself. If you are doing something that feels wrong, then chances are you are in the wrong program. I want others to be able to hold their head up high and shout, “I am me! People love me for who I AM”. I want you to be able to explain what you are doing to your friends and family without being afraid of what they think.
Can you do that now with your current program? Do you feel that you are promoting something that makes you feel good inside? If not, why do you think that is? Before I end this, I ask you one more thing. If you don’t know what works, or you are new and have questions, please ask me. I will give you an honest answer.
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